Pillsbury Dough Boy: Fetus in a Bottle

It started with a single boy made of dough, who became the leader of a revolution that massacred his own people. With no care, justice or sentiment, he led the media driven riot to his cannabalistic ways by offering them as a sacrifice to another race. His betrayal is deeply felt within the community.

"I felt close to him one time." the Gingerbread Man replied, "we grew up together, we used to be one in the same batch. He just became different. I can't explain it." -the Gingerbread man refused any more comments.

One poor doughgirl was found sitting in the streets sobbing as she sang

"Do you know the muffin man." the secret song of rebellion against the Dough Boy's fascist regime. Moments later she was harpooned by a patrolling rolling pin. There was no chance to even interview the lass.

The Dough Boy can bee seen fraternizing with their mortal enemy, humankind who eats them on a daily basis, these poor people of dough, whether they be cookie, biscuit or roll dough. He has appeared in hundreds of ads and campaigns advocating the slaughter of his people in what seems to be a futile attempt to hold onto his own skin.

What a sad state of affairs it truly is. With the Rolling Pins on the streets, citizens of Candyland have barely a moment to rest. They are constantly on their guard in case Dough Boy is in town with his terroristic regime. If only this travesty could be stopped.

-written by Sta Y. Puff